a lesson from the ocean

I was humbled the other day by the crazy, rippin’, Costa Rican waters. While sharing life with our youth group, we got together for our weekly football game; which takes place on an island moated by the river on one side and the ocean on the other. This
one day, however, the waters were extremely rough, ready to sweep anyone away into the ocean.

Our youth leader, Kevin, headed out first into what we thought was the shallowest section. It soon became apparent that even this big guy was no match for the waters. He turned around waving and warning us away that the current was too strong, and the rocks were to slippery. My stubborn self and I decided that I could handle it. I ignored the warning and began a slippery and unstable truck to the sacred playing grounds. Half way across, I realized something; I was stuck. The group was either on the safe grounds back on shore, or already carried away several yards down… I was alone. Yet, I believed I could succeed unaccompanied, single handedly. I was wrong. With my beloved and world traveling Chaco’s and Kleen Kanteen in hand, sadly, I was more worried about losing them than busting a knee. I lifted up a foot to start heading back to shore, when I was caught off balance and stumbled into the slippery rocks. My friends on shore saw that I was struggling and Drew began to wade out to my rescue. Nope, I thought, I don’t need help, I don’t need anyone. A few feet a away from Drew, I took a hard fall and scraped my knees up… but I still had my Chaco’s! Drew asked if he could help carry my stuff so wouldn’t be thrown off balance and weighted down as much. Again I denied. I can carry my own crap load. It’s mine to carry. One more hard fall, a pleading glare from Drew, and I handed over some of what had been taxing my effort to cross back to safety. With his help I made it to shore in one piece.

I was a bit disappointed in myself in the fact that I couldn’t do it alone. But later, I realized my faults. It took me yelling, “No I can do it by myself,” and hard falls to conclude that in fact I can’t. Who knew? We are supposed to share each other’s burdens, help carry each other’s loads to make the life journey a bit easier. These burdens, I’ve found, could be tangible like Jesus’ cross. Or it could be struggles, sorrows, and pains locked up and kept secret. If dammed up, this poison will continue to fester and eat away at our insides until eventually, we explode. Facing this toxicity only cuts away at its looming presence. Sharing it evens out the troubles as more people unite to fight it.

The independence in us, tells us that we don’t need God. We have the belief that we can handle life on our own, even though we truly don’t know what’s best for our own lives. We demand independence, but complain when God loves us enough to give it us-especially when things don’t go our way. Why couldn’t God have prevented this? How could God have let this happen? I’ve learned that God gave us free will, our individualism to make decisions. Sometimes these choices lead to bad things which affect our lives and we immediately look for someone to blame, usually out Abba in Heaven. We need to give up that independence, and trust in God. Trust that He is good, and whatever we do – because it’s in and through Him- it’s also good. True faith is giving over the control to Christ. My independent attitude has only gotten me stuck, literally. Sharing and trusting helped lead me out of the mess, my choices had tossed me into. Rely fully on God. I’m learning to trust; to comprehend that Jesus already carried the sins and burdens of the world.

I was scared standing alone in the middle of the river, unsteady, untrusting. It would have been a heck of a lot easier if I obeyed the warnings, and placed my hand trustingly in those who want to help.